Anger with the Lord?

I’ve been given a lot of advice about how it is permissible and even right to be angry at God given our loss. I graciously receive it but always disagree. My conviction is I have no right to be mad with God. Let me say this—we have not been wronged by God in our son going to Heaven quicker than we expected. He did not have or need to be protected from Heaven. Others wronged us in the process and the Lord will handle all that but God’s hands are clean in our eyes. His ways are higher than our ways (Isa. 55:8-9) but His ways are also perfect and just (Psa. 18:30). He never gives anyone injustice (Gen. 18:25; Deut. 32:4). I’ve heard if we had God’s power, we would change all sorts of things in the world. If we had His wisdom, everything would remain the same.

I think believing that anger at the Lord is right and justified will harm me in both the short and long term. Joni Eareckson Tada, who has been confined to a wheelchair as a quadriplegic for decades because of a diving accident argues, “Although so many so-called Christian therapists will try to convince you that it’s okay to lay it all out and vent your anger against God full force. Some will even tell you that you need to forgive God… friend that is the wrong advice. Never cast aspersions on His character; never talk behind His back; never sow seeds of discord about Him among others – not only does it dishonor the Lord, but it’ll definitely make things worse for you…much worse.”

So often we feel angry because some sort of expectation has not been met. But the reality is that there is no promise of God that says my son would live a long earthly life. There’s no promise that believers will be spared troubles, trials, and temptations. The promise of a tearless time where mourning and death are no more is one made for Heaven (Rev. 21:1-4). The New Testament, however, talks about suffering in the Christian life almost 252 times! Jesus even promises troubles in John 16:33 saying, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Knowing this and feeling it are not the same thing. We must hold two things together in tension: 1) It is never right to be angry at God and 2) if we feel angry at Him, we should go directly to Him. The Lord does not want us to deny, diminish, or deny our feelings. Yet, feelings are gauges not guides. When we feel angry, disappointed, or dissatisfied in the way the Lord has decided to do something, we can bring that frustration directly to him in lament. Again, Joni writes, “Finally, when tempted to be angry at God, you don’t need to settle for being a cold stoic or hot-headed blasphemer. God has opened the door for you to lament, to bring to Him your doubts and questions, wisely, honestly, and in humility. He bends His ear to His suffering people – and He’s waiting to hear from you today.”