Paul Washer on Marriage

“How would you ever learn unconditional love if you were married to someone who met all the conditions?

How would you ever learn mercy, patience, long-suffering, heart-felt compassion if you were married to someone who never failed you? Who is never difficult with you?

Who never sinned against you? Who is never slow to acknowledge their sin or ask for forgiveness?

How would you ever learn grace, to pour out your favor on someone who did not deserve it, if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things? Do you see that?

The main purpose of marriage is that through your marriage, you both become conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

Marriage is the greatest instrument of sanctification. You are married to a person who does not meet all the conditions so that you might learn unconditional love. You are married to a person who needs mercy so that you learn to give it. You are married to a person that does not deserve so that you learn to pour lavishly yourself out on a person who does not respond appropriately & thus you become like the Lord we worship.

You worship the Lord for grace, but you demand that your wife live in such a way that she not be in need of it.

You worship the Lord for unconditional love but you get mad at your own wife when she doesn’t meet the conditions.

We become like the Lord that we worship! You see, we worship the Lord for unconditional love, grace & mercy but we do not want to give those very things to others.

Are we most like Christ when my bride is meeting all of my needs & satisfying all of my desires & I am really not having to do much sacrificing or enduring at all? Or am I more like Christ on the hard days when I’m having to dig deep? When I’m having to realize that the overwhelming majority of the time, what I am having difficulty with is my own failure’s bearing fruit.

Those are the days when we should realize how dependent we are on the power of Christ to do & be what he has called us to do and be! Hold on! Hang in there.” Paul Washer

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